I Don't Want Your Pity
by ilovecarlospena93
Summary: Kendall feels his world come crashing down around him as he sits in the hospital bed. Carlos makes it his mission to be his friend, and to cheer him up. Will it become more? AU, SLASH, Kenlos
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hi everyone! I am here with a new story! I will be finishing up All I Want For Christmas Is Kendall Knight, I have most of the final chapter written, so that will be up within the next couple of days...**_

_**Ok, so this is quite a change from my normal writing...I have extensive knowlege of the medical field, but I can't say that I have written a whole lot with the knowlege. This isn't a happy go lucky story, I warn you, but I think you all should stick around and read it. I hope it entertains! Read and review please!**_

_**I do not own BTR.**_

**I Don't Want Your Pity...**

This wasn't supposed to be happening...It couldn't be! He was so young. So full of life. So much ahead of him. Kendall Knight knew he could not be sick, he knew the young doctor must have grabbed the wrong file, must have pulled up the wrong patient's records on the computer, because this just wasn't right. The pain in his shoulder was just that-a pain in his shoulder. Torn rotator cuff, a pulled muscle, a pinched nerve-it had to be something like that. But Dr. Mitchell kept using words like "Ewing's Sarcoma" and "Bone Cancer" and "Chemotherapy", not "You just need physical therapy" or "You should continue seeing your chiropractor".

"Dr. Mitchell, I don't think I quite understand...Are you telling me I have cancer?" Kendall inquired, a barely audible tremble present in his voice. His emerald eyes were wide with disbelief and fear, his hands plagued with tremors suddenly.

"Kendall, I know this is very hard to digest right now. Cancer is...Well, cancer is something everyone never dreams of getting. But the pain in your shoulder? The redness, swelling, and pain in that area? Your chiropractor was wise to send you to get x-rays, because that's what lead us to do CT scans, and that is why we did the bone biopsy. Ewing's Sarcoma is not a cancer that is easily detected, which is why you are a lucky man to get it caught in only stage two. Basically, Kendall, you have a tumor in your left shoulder blade, and now we just need to put you on chemo as quickly as possible so the cancer doesn't grow and spread. I have it in mind to admit you to the cancer ward today, if you are agreeable to that, we could start prepping you tomorrow."

He had no idea what was going on.

Cancer?

Cancer was something old people got...

Why is this doctor telling him he has cancer if he is so young?

"Dr. Mitchell, you keep saying I have cancer, but aren't I too young for it?"

"Well, first off, call me Logan. You and I will be spending a lot of time together over these next few months, so I like to make my people feel more at ease. Secondly, no, you are not too young to get cancer. In fact, for this type of bone cancer, you are in the prime age bracket for it. It usually shows is 10 to 30 year olds. You being 23, well, it isn't surprising."

"Am I going to live?" The blonde asked, bracing himself for the worst.

"I am not going to sugar coat it, Kendall, this is an aggressive cancer, which is why we need to fight it head on so quickly, so we can get you better. I have a good feeling about this. I will do my best, you have my word on that." The dark-haired doctor stuck his hand out for Kendall to shake, a symbol of his devotion. Kendall eagerly shook it, grasping it like it was the last hope of living. Essentially, he was.

Kendall trudged down the hospital's hallway, a duffel bag slung over his good shoulder, heading to the cancer ward, his temporary home for the next few months. He walked up to the nurse's station, waiting for the receptionist, Kelly (or so the nametag says), to tell him his room number. She was young, maybe mid thirties, dark chocolate skin, and wavy black hair that framed her angelic face. Kendall couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. She looked up from the paper in front of her, her dark eyes staring into Kendall's green ones, a wide smile gracing her features.

"Kendall Knight?" She asked. I nodded, shoving my hands into the front pocket of my zipped up hoodie.

"That's me, unfortunately." He couldn't say that this news didn't take the spring from his step or the sparkle from his eyes, because that would be a lie. Kendall, for the first time in his life, was depressed off his ass. Who wouldn't be?

Kelly flashed him a knowing smile before saying,

"I wish I could say you will love it here, but really what you are going to love is the people. We have some great staff here, and a crew of awesome patient's at the moment. A couple your age, too. I know that doesn't make it better right now, but it will. Trust me."

It took everything within Kendall to force the smile he gave her.

He was so tired.

Was it too early in the game to give up?

He shoved that thought away, thinking of all the stuff he had to live for.

His mom. His sister, Katie. Hockey; he was the captain of the Minnesota Wilds. His cat, Hemingway. His hopes and dreams, he needed to live for all that.

Kelly and he walked down the hall, towards his private room, the young woman chatting about the patients, but Kendall couldn't bring himself to listen. He didn't want pity from anyone, but he sure as hell could wallow internally. Because, right now, he wanted to feel bad for himself, and he deserved to. He wasn't out of a job, he wasn't low on money, he didn't have realtionship problems. He had cancer for fuck's sake. The other reasons people feel sorry for themselves were downright petty compared to Kendall's life right now.

They turned into his room, which was colored a peaceful blue, a beach mirage painted on the far wall, and ocean scenery pictures hung all over the walls. He guessed it was supposed to be relaxing. Not working, as of yet.

"Well, Kendall, your closet is right there where you can hang your clothes and put any other belongings you have with you in there. Bathroom is to the left, the TV remote is in the right side pocket of the bed. Other than that, just try to relax and rest. This news isn't easily taken."

"Why do I have to stay here? Other people do chemo and go home afterwards. Why do I have to stay?" Kendall asked suddenly.

"Because we are going to treat it so aggressively, you are going to be sick a lot. We need to moniter your food intake, keep you hydrated and keep your body in balance basically. Your case is special, Kendall." Kelly placed a comforting hand on the boy's arm. Kendall nodded, understanding why. The nurse left the room, leaving him to stare at his surroundings. He walked to the closet and started unpacking for his long stay here.

He hadn't called his mom. The only person he had called and told was Coach, to tell him that he would be out for a while. Kendall wasn't for sure who took the news harder; him or Coach. Kendall was good at hockey, and the team's winnings had the potential to take a massive hit with him not leading.

Once he was done setting up his room, he sat on the bed and pulled his knees to his chest. Without warning, tears began to track down his slim face, and he hadn't the energy or the willpower to tell himself to "get a grip". Right now, he wanted to cry.

"Pssst! Hey! New kid!" Kendall heard a loud whisper from the direction of the door. He wiped off his wet cheeks and turned to see who was calling. Kendall couldn't help that his heart sped up, thumping against the walls of his chest at the sight of the short Latino wearing black skinny jeans and a purple hoodie. His smile could prove to be infectious, his pearly white teeth shining bright in Kendall's currently dismal world. His brown eyes sparkeled with fun and mischief, his touseld jet black hair pointing in a thousand different directions. Kendall had not seen anyone as gorgeous as this kid.

"Yeah?" Kendall inquired.

"Wanna sucker?" The bouncing boy asked excitedly.

"Do I want a WHAT!?" Kendall didn't know exactly how to take his question.

"Ya know, a lollipop? I know where the nurses keep the good stash, the ones with the tootsie roll in the middle, and I was just about to go sneak one for myself, but when I passed by here, I saw you, and you look like you need some cheering up." The Latino explained exhuberently.

"Sure, why not! The one with the brown wrapper, those are my favorite." Kendall couldn't help but say yes, fearing he would crush the beautiful man's world if he refused.

"Be right back!" He whispered, tiptoeing away stealthily. Kendall laughed, despite his earlier blues, there was just something about this kid...

He was back quickly, triumphantly waving two tootsie pops in the air, one brown and the other red.

"I got them! I have been here a while so I know when, where, and how to nab these things without the nurses knowing. They think it's bad for me to have sugar."

"Is it a medical thing?" Kendall asked, wondering if he should let him eat the pop if he shouldn't have it...

"No, not that, it's just I am hyper. Like REALLY hyper. They think sugar makes me more so, but I really don't care. I am sick, therefore if I want candy, I will have my candy and eat it too." There was that smile again, the one Kendall couldn't help but mirror.

"I'm Carlos Garcia, by the way, what's your name, Blondie?"

They shook hands as Kendall responded,

"Kendall Knight. Pleased to meet you, Carlos. So you said you've been here a while?..."

"Yeah, I have Myelogenous Leukemia. Basically, my white blood cells have cancer. You?"

"Bone Cancer. Ewing's Sarcoma I think it's called?" Kendall answered as Carlos sat cross-legged on the bed with Kendall, unwrapping his lollipop. He stuck it in his mouth and started sucking on it. His eyes rolled back in his head and he moaned loudly at the taste, and by god if that didn't do something to Kendall. He couldn't help it that the extremely sexy noises coming from Carlos got him a little excited.

"Yeah, I've heard of that one. Chemo and radiation?"

"Just chemo right now. Dr. Mitchell said if that doesn't work, we will try radiation also."

"Yeah, I was actually in remission for my cancer for two years, but three months ago it popped up again, and I couldn't do chemo this time through. Which is nice that I don't have to lose my hair again." Carlos carded his fingers through his short locks for emphasis.

"Yeah, I am not really looking forward to the whole hair loss thing." Kendall admitted, unwrapping his lollipop.

"Sometimes people don't lose their hair. The reason you lose your hair during chemo is because not only does it attack the cancer cells, but it attacks living cells also. But some people, I don't know, they just don't get affected by it. You could try ice packs and rogaine too, if you want!"

"WHAT?!" Kendall squealed, not believeing his ears.

"Yeah, some people think that putting ice pack on your head, something called scalp hypothermia or cryotherapy or some shit like that prevents hair loss. And Rogaine. But that's a given why people think it works. Some people it does work, other's it doesn't."

"So, how much longer are you here?" Kendall asked, wondering if he would be able to keep his new friend around. He admitted he was scared and he wouldn't mind having Carlos around to help him through the scary first times.

"As long as it takes to kick this cancer's butt. Don't worry, I will be around to help you through this, promise." Carlos grasped Kendall's hands, squeezing them tightly.

Kendall knew from that moment on that they would be inseparable.

_**A/N: There you all go! Review pleaseeeeeeeee!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you all so much for your amazing reviews for the first chapter! They really encouraged me to keep this story going, and I have to say, I am super proud of this story. I know cancer fics are super hard for some people to read, especially if they lost a loved one to it, but I thank all of you who are reading this, and thank you for your continued support!**

**I do not own BTR.**

Kendall's world seemed to tip on its axis in about 12 hours flat. He had called his mom, who he thought had taken it extremely well, only to have Katie text him to say it didn't go so well off the phone. She was going to be booking a flight to Minnesota from California, where Katie is developing her career as an actress, so she could be with him. Then he went through a shit load of tests and read a shit load of paperwork explaining his condition, and what would be done with treating it. The suckiest part of this process proved to be the central line, which was like a semi-permanent I.V. in his chest. That's where they would be administering the chemo, and god did it hurt like hell to have it put in. Like the worst fucking shot in the history of needles. Now, he waited anxiously on his bed, sitting Indian style, waiting for Logan to come in so that he could get his first treatment of chemotherapy underway. He was more nervous than scared, and not looking forward to the sickness that he knew was inevitable. He just focused on the fact that this was going to make him better. This was going to save his life...Right?

"Hey, buddy! How do you feel?" Carlos bounded into the room, a huge smile plastered on his face. No matter what happened, how suckey he may feel from his cancer, he always wore a smile and made sure everyone else was ok. Kendall had only known him briefly, but he knew all this to be true. When it came to Carlos, he was an open book, a pop-up picture book, but a book nonetheless.

"A little nervous, but ok, I think. I'm worried about being sick after the chemo. I hate throwing up, which is why I never get drunk, so I am not super enthused at the long road of puking my guts out ahead of me." Kendall shrugged his shoulders, absent-mindedly plucking at the soft fabric of the blanket beneath him. Carlos hopped on the bed, pulling the collar of Kendall's t-shirt down to look at the central line. Kendall's breath caught in his throat at the action, before he reached up and yanked it back up. He didn't know what exactly he felt for the small Latino, but he definitely was forming a crush on him, and Kendall hated the fact that he had three ports hanging from his chest, that Carlos would be grossed out and think that it made him ugly.

"Relax, dude! I just wanted to look! It's not like I don't know about cancer. It's not like it makes you any less pretty." Carlos sort of mumbled the last part, and it made Kendall blush bright red.

_He thinks I'm pretty! _Kendall internally leapt for joy. How had he known about the exact insecurity he was having, though?

"Thanks for that! This...this is just so new. I have always been the outgoing one, the fearless leader, and I just feel like this...thing...makes me look weak." Kendall peeked down at the offending contraption.

"Nah, don't think that. If anything, it makes you stronger. People who survive cancer are incredibly strong, they have to fight every day to get rid of it. You're a fighter. Besides, if anyone messes with you about it, I'll break out my mad ninja skills out on them!" Carlos said, accenting that last part by hopping to his feet on the bed, striking a rather stupid looking martial arts pose. Being clumbsy as he was, he lost his balance, toppeling down in a heap on Kendall, throwing them both into a fit of hysterics.

"I guess that one class of Tae Kwon Do I took when I was ten wore off, huh?" Carlos asked, looking up at Kendall with those big doe eyes. The sight made Kendall's heart melt.

"Yeah, Carlos, I think it did." Kendall giggled. He should hate the fact that Carlos could make him giggle like a schoolgirl, but he couldn't...Because more than that, he got Kendall to forget his cancer, and live his life. There was nothing Kendall could be more grateful of.

"I'm gunna add that to my bucket list! Take more Tae Kwon Do." Carlos stated thoughtfully, still nestled in Kendall's lap. Kendall, without thinking, placed his hand on the boy's bent knee, slowly rubbing his thumb over the denim. He blushed when he realized what he was doing, but the boy on his lap didn't seem to mind judging by the soft smile directed at Kendall, so he didn't stop.

"Bucket list?" Kendall questioned.

"Yeah, you know, the stuff I want to do before I 'kick the bucket'."

Kendall went rigid, his eyes widening.

"Carlos, don't talk like that! You are going to make it through this!" The blonde said adamently. Carlos laughed deep and slow.

"Chill out, Ken, I'm not saying I'm going to die from this. If you really think about it, from the moment we are conceived, we are dying. Our days are numbered. Doesn't matter if you are the healthiest person alive, you are still dying." He reached down and began toying with Kendall's fingers he had placed on his knee. Carlos couldn't help but admire his long, strong fingers, the shape of his hand, the faint freckles that spotted the top, the almost-bleach blonde hairs the spread out over his arm, stopping at his wrist. One word: beautiful. Kendall was beautiful in every sense of the word, inside and out.

"I guess that really does make sense. So what do you have on this bucket list of yours?" Kendall asked, enjoying the warmth of their hands touching the other's, even if it was innocent, and they weren't even holding hands. It was just nice. Kendall hadn't ever felt this free to be touchy-feely with an almost complete stranger before. He just had this connection with Carlos, as cliched as that sounds!

Carlos pondered the question a bit, his eyebrows furrowed together. "Ride a horse...Go swimming in the ocean...Dress up as a woman and walk through a mall and see how many people realize I'm a dude." Kendall burst out laughing at the last one, the mental image of Carlos strutting around in a red dress to see if people would think he was a girl. Only Carlos Garcia! Carlos beamed that he had made Kendall laugh like that.

"I have a whole lot more than that, but a lot of them are a secret!" He said with a wink. Kendall deviously smiled, bringing his fingers up, wiggling them.

"I can always tickle them out of you!"

The Latino squealed, trying to claw his way out of Kendall's lap, but he wasn't fast enough. Kendall's hands dove down, digging his fingers into Carlos' ribs, throwing the boy into hysterical laughing, screaming "STOP IT KENDALL! I'M GUNNA PEEEEE!" but he kept up his endless assault, hopping on top of the flailing boy, seating himself on Carlos' hips, moving his fingers to attack his armpits which only made Carlos squeal and giggle harder.

"Mmmmhmmm!" They heard from the doorway. Both boys stopped what they were doing, and looked back with flushed cheeks, half from laughing and struggling, the other half from embarrassment of being caught.

"Hi Logan! Hi James!" Carlos called out sheepishly, giggling nervously. Kendall looked down at their position and blushed even harder. It looked compromising to say the least...Carlos lay under him red and out of breath and Kendall was sitting directly on his crotch. He leapt off in one smooth motion, putting ample amount of space between them.

"I swear to God that it was wayyyyy different than what it looked like!" Kendall yelped. The tall brunette next to Logan, who Kendall had not been introduced to, smirked mischievously, while Logan just raised a questioning eyebrow. The beautiful man, who he thinks is named James, walks over to him,

"Hey Kendall, I'm Logan's PA, James Diamond. It's a pleasure to meet you, and I think you should date Carlos!" He reached his hand out to shake Kendall's.

"JAMES!?" Both Logan and Carlos yell. James just smiled big, showing off his pearly white teeth.

"You will have to excuse him. He has no couth." Logan said, patting James on the arm. The other boy rolled his eyes.

"You're right, I don't. Because I have no idea what that word even is." He responded snippetly, "But I really do think you and Carlitos here should go out. That tickle party looked like the start of something."

Kendall blushed for what seemed like the eightieth time in the past five minutes. Carlos, oddly enough, scooted closer to Kendall so that their thighs were touching. Kendall looked down at the sight, wondering what exactly was happening right now.

"Anyway, hate to break this party up, but Kendall it's time to get started." Logan interjected, grabbing the clipboard James was holding.

"You are aware of everything that will be happening, right Kendall?" Logan asked, glancing at the blonde through his eyelashes. Kendall nodded as he started wringing his hands nervously, suddenly wondered if he was ready for this next step.

"Ok, good, do you have any questions?"

"Just one. When will I start feeling sick?"

"Most people start feeling it about two hours after treatment. It really all depends on your body. Some feel it many hours after treatment, some feel it as soon as it is administered. There really is no firm answer." Logan answered, grabbing a syringe of a clear liquid.

"This is just saltwater, also know as saline, to flush the line so that it's nice and clean when we inject the chemo. You might feel a cold rush in your chest, but don't be alarmed, it's completely normal!" Logan pulled on a pair of gloves, then reached over to unscrew the cap on Kendall's port. James handed him the syringe of saline, which Logan then injected. Kendall felt icy fingers claw through his chest...it wasn't the most amazing feeling, but it wasn't all that uncomfortable either.

"Ok, that's done, and now I am just going to inject the chemo drug." Logan stated, James handing him another syringe, this one filled with a blue tinted liquid. Kendall closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to catalog this moment in his visual memories. He felt a hand reach over to grasp his, their fingers gently lacing together. He knew without opening his eyes that it was Carlos.

"Alright, you are all done, Kendall. Lay down and rest, while you can, before you start feeling the effects. No more tickling right now! Doctor's orders!" Logan said, pointing his finger at Carlos.

"Hey, he started it!" He responded, throwing his hands up in defense.

*Line Break*

"Easy there, buddy, it's going to be ok!" Carlos said softly, rubbing Kendall's back comfortingly, as he emptied his stomach into the toilet he was clinging to.

"Water." Kendall croaked out, Carlos leaping up to grab him a cup of water. Kendall swished the liquid around in his mouth, spitting it into the toilet before flushing it.

"Damn, I knew there was a reason I hate puking so much." Kendall moaned, stumbling back to bed, crawling in, exhausted.

"I know it doesn't seem possible, but it gets easier. You get used to it the more and more it happens. But lucky you, you have a week of it every day, then two weeks off. That's really good. I did every other week." Carlos informed him, sitting on the edge of the bed. Kendall threw his arm over his eyes.

"I want to do it with you." He simply stated.

"Do what with me?" Carlos asked, slightly taken off guard by how that statement could be taken.

"I want to write a bucket list, and I want us to do it together. You are the only true friend I have. It wasn't until now that I realized just how friendless I am." Kendall mumbled tiredly.

"I am here for you. And yeah, I think we should do that. I really think that would be fun!" Carlos responded, watching Kendall drift off into sleep. Once his breathing evened out to slow and deep, Carlos knew he was fast asleep. He leaned forward, using his index finger to gently move the boy's blonde bangs out of his eyes.

"I promise I will be here for you as long as I can." He whispered, hoping Kendall's subconscious heard him. He hoped that his heart heard him. It was at that very moment, Carlos knew he was falling for this tall, lanky, beautiful blonde. He was falling hard and fast.

_**Thank you all for reading! Please review!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Oh my goodness, I love you all! Your reviews were awesome, and a big thank you to all who liked/favorited my story! I am super excited about this, and I do believe it could be my best fic yet. What do you all think?**_

_**Also, I want to thank my friend, Stephanie, (waitingFORthePERFECTsong9092 ) for helping me with this story. It is both awesome and pitiful how much we have come to rely on eachother to write our stories. (hers being A Heart to Heart With A Plastic Surgeon, if you haven't read it, GO READ IT!) She brings out my imagination and my muse, so a huge hug to her for being such an amazing friend! Don't know what I would do without ya, girl!**_

_**I do not own BTR...**_

Emotions ran high in the following week as Kendall continued to be sick and weak from the chemo, not to mention he was waking up to find clumps of his blonde locks on his pillow. He knew that this would happen, but there was no way he could have emotionally prepared for it. Losing his hair made the knowlege that he could die a little more tangible. He pushed through the days, with the help of Carlos, but spent his nights crying himself to sleep. His mom had come to Minnesota, but by the second day Kendall sent her home. He couldn't deal with her tearing up when he spoke, laughed, or just looked at her. He couldn't bare the thought that every time she saw him, all she saw was the ugly face of cancer. She hadn't gone willingly at first, but Carlos talked to her, that seeming to do the trick. Carlos. Sometimes Kendall laid in bed just whispering the name, beckoning mental images of the cheeky boy. He wasn't going to lie, every time Carlos walked into the room, his heart was set on rapid fire, seeming to bounce off the walls of his chest cavity. It was a stupid little crush, but Kendall wondered if it could go further. He knew Carlos was at least bisexual, with how he fawned over James Diamond's beauty. Kendall himself was gay, so when Carlos had said that, a glimmer of hope was lit in him.

They had plans to work on their bucket list after Carlos' appointment with Logan, which should have started about fifteen minutes ago, so that meant Carlos should arrive in about another half hour. Kendall leaned over to grab his iPad to pass the time. As he read the bucket list he had written down in his notes, he was interrupted by small, round disks hitting his face.

"What the..." He mumbled looking at the skittles lying in his lap. His iPhone beeped, signaling a text, a second later.

_" TASTE THE FUCKING RAINBOWWWW! :D"_

Kendall threw his head back in laughter,

"Carlos, get your ass in here!" He yelled, Carlos then jumping around the corner holding a massive bag of skittles.

"Shhh! Don't tell James or Logan!" He whispered loudly, digging his hand in the bag, rooting around in the fruity snacks.

"As long as you share, my lips are sealed!" Kendall responded, holding his hand out expectantly.

"Anything you want, babe!" Carlos joked, dropping a bunch in Kendall's open hand, "Now let me see your list!"

"Sure! Wait...Shouldn't you be meeting with Logan?" The blonde questioned, pulling the list back up on his iPad.

"Should be, but he never showed. Dick. He and James are probably off in some supply closet going down on eachother." Carlos recanted with a dramatic rolling of the eyes. It was no secret that Dr. Mitchell and Nurse James had a thing for eachother, judging by their mutually random disappearances at times. Yeah, they were total fuck buddies, if not more.

Kendall giggled, and nodded in agreement. He handed the iPad to Carlos so he could read the list. He began reading out loud, with a smile plastered on his face, clearly excited about this.

"Meet Wayne Gretsky. Learn how to play the piano. Form a group of friends that would be described more as brothers." Carlos stopped reading at that one, smiling at Kendall, "Won't you be able to cross that one off the list? Am I not a good friend?"

Kendall's heart melted.

"Dude, you mean more to me then any other person in the world right now. You are more than a brother. You are...I don't how to explain it."

Carlos tackled him with a hug, which Kendall whole-heartedly reciprocated, squeezing him back just as hard. Carlos drew back, not speaking a word, just picking up the iPad again to finish the list. He laughed at some, and "aww'd" at a few, but when he reached the end of the list, he stopped reading out loud, and just stared at it.

"Do everything on Carlos' list with him, so that I can make him not feel alone, like how he has not made me feel alone...Kendall, that might be the most beautiful thing I have ever read." He read, finally finding his voice.

Kendall smiled warmly, placing a hand on the Latino's arm.

"I mean every word of it."

Their eyes were locked.

Carlos could feel the heat from Kendall's hand soaking through to his bones.

He had the overwhelming urge to kiss him.

Carlos' eyes flickered down to Kendall's lips as he leaned forward. He paused right before their lips met, listening to the sound of labored breathing. He closed the distance, pressing his lips to Kendall's in an almost shy manner, barely touching. The kiss, if you could describe it as that, lasted for about two seconds, before Carlos pulled back, and hopped off the bed.

"I should go back to see if Logan decided to show up." Carlos mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Ok...Umm, come back later?" Kendall inquired, wanting to do nothing more than pull the boy back into his arms and kiss him senseless for hours.

"Sure...I guess I'll see you later then!" Carlos awkwardly waved and left the room.

Kendall sat there, pondering what just happened. Even though the kiss was small he could feel what it could have been. He could feel little jolts of electricty traveling through his veins at the thought. One thing was for sure, they were going to do that again.

_**A/N: I know that was short, but I gave you two long chapters before, so I figured you all could extend me grace! ;) Reviews would be wonderful, and hey, I need bucket list ideas! PLEASE HELP! **_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Wow, I honestly didn't hink I would be updating so quickly, but here I am with the next chapter! Things will start moving faster after this chapter, will get more into their bucket lists, get some yummy Kenlos smut (YAYYY!). I do hope you all are enjoying this story as much as I am! Give me some ideas for their bucket lists, I got a few good suggestions, so thank you to all who did! You all rock!**_

_**I have never done this before, but I really feel to do this. I am officially dedicating this story to Stephanie, so kudos to you girl, this story is yours! You have done so much to help me, not only with my stories, but you have been my constant friend even when my own family turned their backs on me, and this is a small token of my appreciation for everything you have done to help me through these past couple of months. I hope you love your story!**_

_**I do not own BTR! **_

"Dude, you can't be serious!" Kendall shouted, holding the hair clippers in his hands. Carlos smiled slightly, nodding his head.

"I told you, I never want you to feel alone. Now do it, Kendall!"

Kendall looked down at the oblong black device, not quite believing what he was about to do with it. He looked at Carlos with pleading eyes,

"Just because I'm having trouble with losing my hair, doesn't mean you have to do this for me. You lost your hair once before. Once is enough."

"I want this, Ken. I really do. When we do our bucket list together, I don't want to look like the odd man out! I have cancer too, I should look like it! Now hurry up, I wanna look like you!" Carlos settled down in a folding chair, Kendall behind him, still awkwardly holding the clippers in disbelief.

"I can't believe I am about to shave your head..." Kendall mumbled, turning on the clippers, listening to it hum. Carlos reached back, wordlessly squeezing Kendall's thigh, assuring him to continue. Kendall pressed it to his head, moving the teeth of the clippers into the thick, jet black hair, swiping it up from the base of his skull to the top of his hairline. Clumps and strands of hair fell to the floor, and Kendall felt tears prick his eyes, truly touched deep within himself by the gift Carlos was so freely giving him. Only a true friend would shave their head to support someone they knew and loved. Did Carlos love him? Not like a brotherly love, but _love _love? They kissed, but it was more like a peck than anything. Kendall didn't know for sure, but as he stood staring at the back of Carlos' head, a long strip of his hair missing, he knew. He knew he was in love with him. He didn't know if Carlos reciprocated that feeling, but Kendall was hit with the realization with how head over heels he was for this man. Kendall sniffed quietly, a tear tracking down his cheek, as he continued shaving Carlos' head.

Five minutes later, they stood in front of Carlos' bathroom mirror, rubbing his hands over his now smooth scalp, smiling at his reflection.

"Somehow, this looks way more badass then the last time!" He chuckled, Kendall coming up behind him, wrapping his arms around the Latino in a hug, staring at him in the mirror.

"Totally badass!" Kendall concurred. Tears threatened to spill again, this time not going unnoticed by Carlos.

"Ken, are you crying?" He asked, turning around in his embrace. Kendall just chuckled and hung his head.

"I just can't believe you would do something like this for me. It's amazing."

"I would run in a one hundred mile marathon if that meant it would help you in some way. Shaving my head for you? That's nothing. But there is one thing you could do for me." Carlos answered, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Anything! Say the word and I will do it!"

"I saw your guitar case beside your bed the other day. You mentioned that you play and sing some. I want to hear." Kendall smiled, his heart swelling with joy. Carlos wanted to hear him play his guitar and sing!

"That I can do." Kendall grabbed the smaller boy's hand, leading him down the hall towards his own room. Once in there, he grabbed his guitar, plucking the strings to make sure everything was in tune.

"What do you want to hear?" Kendall asked him, playing a few rifts as Carlos thought.

"I have been really into Ed Sheeran lately." He answered, nodding his head. Kendall smirked slyly, knowing exactly what he was going to do. He started plucking the strings, taking a deep breath as he started to softly croon,

_"Settle down with me  
Cover me up  
Cuddle me in_

Lie down with me  
And hold me in your arms

And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck  
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet  
And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now."  


Carlos sat there, his mouth slightly gaping, his eyes glassy, just staring at the singing boy. Kendall had his eyes shut, but as he broke into the chorus, he made sure to look straight into Carlos' soul.

_"Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love."_

Kendall smiled at Carlos, soft and bright, hoping that he was making it apparent that he was seeing this song _to _him. Carlos still held the dazed look, like he couldn't quite figure out if this whole thing was real or not. His chocolate brown eyes flicked up from where Kendall's hands were strumming the strings, to his face, and right then was when Carlos realized how real this was.

"_Settle down with me  
And I'll be your safety  
You'll be my baby_

I was made to keep your body warm  
But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms

Oh no  
My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed in my neck

I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet  
And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love

Yeah, I've been feeling everything from hate to love from love to lust  
From lust to truth I guess that's how I know you  
So I hold you close to help you give it up

So kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love

Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love"

Kendall strummed the last chord, listening as the last note resonate through the hospital room. He opened his eyes to the sight of Carlos smiling fondly at him. Kendall leaned over his guitar's cherry body to press a sweet kiss to the man's flushed cheek. He drew away, turning around to place his guitar back in the case, before he felt a hand clamp around his upper left arm, spinning him around to face the Latino, a hungry look in his eyes, as he pushed Kendall up against the nearest wall. He licked his lips slowly, studying Kendall's mouth closely before leaning up to whisper in his ear seductively,

"We are starting on my bucket list right now, because kissing you up against a wall is pretty high up on it." With that, their lips crashed together in a almost primal urgency, like if Carlos could crawl into Kendall's skin, he would. Teeth nipped, tongues battled, their breathing came out in ragged gasps the brief nanoseconds their lips parted, and Kendall...He couldn't even think. All brain activity was at a minimum as the shorter boy hungrily devoured his mouth. He tore their mouths apart from fear of fainting from lack of oxygen.

"Fuck, Carlos, that was..."

"Hot?" Carlos devilishly grinned. Kendall chuckled softly, diving his hands underneath Carlos' tshirt to feel the smooth, warm skin that was hidden beneath, drawing a throaty groan from the boy's mouth.

"I love you!" Carlos breathed out in a huge sigh, leaning against Kendall's chest.

"I love you too!" Kendall responded, knowing that he didn't have to do any soul-searching or heavy thinking to know that was his honest answer. He didn't know how it had happened so fast, he firmly believed it was the day they met, but this little Latino bombshell had made him fall so madly in love with him, Kendall couldn't see straight.

The thing was, Kendall didn't give a fuck._  
_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Wow, it has been a long time since I updated. It is because of a very long list of reasons why, but I won't bore you with the details. All that matters is that the next chapter is up! **_

_**I can not say enough "thanks you's!" to my friend, Stephanie, for all the help she gives me with my stories! She is such an amazing friend, and I now can not imagine life without her in it! I love you, girl! ;) I hope you love this chapter!**_

_**I do not own BTR or anything else you may recognize...**_

"Kendall, c'mon, you have to tell me! I hate suprises!" Carlos pleaded the blonde, tugging on his shirt sleeve.

"Oh, liar liar! You love suprises! Now stop acting like a child, and get your gorgeous ass dressed, we are going to be late!" Kendall responded, lightly shoving his boyfriend away. Carlos grinned evilly, turning around before bending over slightly, shaking his boxer clad behind at Kendall.

"What do you think of my gorgeous ass now, Kendall? Do you REALLY want me to get it dressed?" He asked, peeking behind him to see his boyfriend standing there with his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, his eyes filled with lust.

"Damn it, Carlos, stop that! We are working on our bucket list, and I know you are going to love what I set up, and you will be seriously bummed when you find out you missed out on it because you flaunted yourself in front of me and I fucked you senseless in a fit of passion." Kendall shrieked, rubbing his face with both hands.

"Well, let's think about this...Doing some secret, mysterious item on our bucket list, or staying here and getting fucked into the matress by the man I am in love with? Excuse me if I pick option B as the more exciting of the two." Carlos sauntered back over to him, putting his hands on Kendall's hips, grinding their arousals together. The taller male groaned deep in his throat, before, again, shoving Carlos away.

"Baby, no, this isn't how our first time is going to be. Now get dressed, you horn dog, we have to go!" He commanded adamantly. Carlos sulked away to his dresser, grabbing some clothes before heading to the bathroom.

"For that I am totally not getting dressed in front of you!" Carlos quipped, sticking his tongue out at the blonde, then slamming the door shut. Kendall chuckled softly, sitting down to wait for his boyfriend...

"Ok, just a few more steps, and no peeking!" Kendall whispered into Carlos' ear, as he covered his eyes, awaiting, if not impatiently, for his surprise. The intense scent of saltwater hit him, so he knew that they were at a aquarium of some sort.

"Alright, open up!" Kendall let go of the Latino and stepped back. Carlos opened his eyes, and his jaw went slack.

"Kendall...Is that what I think it is?" He asked, not quite believing what he was seeing.

"Yeah, baby, that's a scuba diving tank!" Kendall smiled brightly, grabbing Carlos' hand leading him towards the gear rental counter.

"Oh my god, this is so cool! I have wanted to do this for SO long!" Carlos bounced as they approached the clerk. They grabbed the gear, and waterproof cameras to document this experience, before going to meet their trainer.

It took about an hour of training before they were actually allowed to dive, but when they did, it was truly one of the most amazing experiences of their lives. It was a massive tank, made to look like a coral reef, thousands of multi-colored fish swiming around them, vibrant underwater plants swaying with the current, crabs scampering across the pebble and sand floor, and even a eel slithered by them. Carlos had has camera up, furiously snapping photos of everything around him, and Kendall couldn't help but watch him. Carlos swam down and picked up a sea urchin, and motioned for Kendall to take a picture of him. After setting the urchin back down, their trainer, Sophia, waved them together and snapped a picture of them encased in eachother's arms, a school of fish swarmed around them. They spent a good half an hour underwater before it was time for them to surface.

"Kendall, that was so amazing, I will never ever forget that! I saw Nemo, Dory, Marlin, and even Pierre! It was like the whole Finding Nemo cast was under there!" Carlos excitedly recapped as they peeled their wetsuits off.

"Yeah, it was pretty fantastic, wasn't it?" Kendall answered, pulling his t-shirt back on.

"It's going to be really hard to beat that, ya know?" The small boy whipered, as he tied his shoes.

"Los, that was our first adventure. There are so many more we get to experience, and each time is going to be special in its own way. Yeah, this was amazing, but we also have so many more fantastic memories to make." Kendall said while crossing the dressing room to wrap Carlos in his arms, kissing him gently on the temple. The Latino hummed happily, snuggling deeper into his boyfriend's embrace.

"I'm hungry." He mumbled into the blonde's chest. He pulled his head back to look up at him, Kendall swooping down to kiss his nose, then travel to nuzzle the warm, caramel skin of his neck.

"Oh yeah, what were thinking? Italian? Greek? Chinese?"

"I actually am craving my native cuisine. I would kill for a good, old fashion taco right now!"

"Mexican it is, seeing as you are in kill mode for a taco, don't let me stand in your line of fire!" Kendall joked, kissing him quickly on the lips.

"No, I couldn't kill my Boo! Maybe an serial killer or elmo, but not my Boo!" Carlos chuckled as they walked out into the main lobby, their fingers linked together. After thanking their trainer, they left the facility and headed to a little family-owned Mexican restaurant named_ la Puerta Del Sol _to satisfy Carlos' craving.

They are showed to a table and immediately take a look at the menu. Carlos, already knowing what he wanted, patiently waits for Kendall to decide.

"So Kendall, anything strike your fancy? Need help translating? Carlos giggles, knowing Kendall has no background in spanish, and probably doesn't understand most of what's on the menu

"What's a simple steak fajita dinner? I can't seem to find it." Kendall questions Carlos while intently trying to find it on the menu

"It's called 'carne con vegetales' very simple."

"But, why couldn't they just call it fajitas. At least I could understand that." Kendall says clearly frustrated at the language barrier

"Just let me do the ordering, I'll take care of ya." Carlos winks, and Kendall doesn't know now whether or not to trust Carlos.

The waitor comes up, clearly ready to take their order. Before the waiter starts to speak, he recognizes Carlos.

"!Carlos! !Qué sopresa!" The waiter greets Carlos. Apparently the waiter knows Carlos.

"Hola tío! No sé que trabajas en este restaurante. Recuerdo que me dijiste tu trabajas en un restaurante Méxicano, pero yo no sé que es este restaurante. Lo siento tío" Carlos smoothly talks to the waiter. Kendall has no clue what just happened, for all he knows, he could be talking about cows

"Silly Kendall, cow in spanish is 'vaca'." Carlos comments

"How did you know I was thinking about cows?" Kendall questions what seems to be Carlos's psychic abilities

"You just said it out loud, DUHHHH!" Carlos emphasizes the "duh". Sometimes Carlos can be so childish. Kendall blushed at this, not believing he actually had thought out loud.

"But Kendall, this is my uncle Miguel. Uncle Miguel, this is my boyfriend, Kendall Knight. The two men shook hands, exchanging courtesies. Carlos and him resumed speaking in their native tongue, Carlos ordering for him.

"So your whole family knows you are gay?" Kendall questioned once they were alone again.

"Yeah, I actually came out when I was sixteen, and really, I lived every gay kid's dream. They all were so supportive and loving; truly amazing about it. Never once did I feel shunned or like I didn't belong anymore." Carlos recounted, reaching over for the bowl of tortilla chips and salsa.

"My mom and sister know that I am bi. I have really told no one else. When you are in the NHL, being outwardly gay can be somewhat of a death sentence. I would become a target in all honesty. That's why I never have said anything to my coach or teammates." Kendall grabbed some chips as he confessed to his boyfriend. Carlos stopped eating and turned towards his lover.

"Are you ever going to come out about you and me?"

"Yeah, I am. You mean too much to me not to. It won't be well received at first, but times have changed a lot. Homosexuality is getting more and more accepted. It probably won't be as bad as I think." Kendall said, continuing to munch on the chips. Carlos reached up, caressing the blonde's slender face, leaning in to kiss him softly.

"Lovin' you." Carlos whispered against Kendall's lips. He smiled, chuckling softly, rubbing their noses together.

"Right back at you!"

"Oh, revenge is a bitch, Kendall, so suck it up and deal with it." Carlos rolled his eyes as he and Kendall walked down the street towards the coffee shop Carlos was taking him to. Every Wedesday night is open mic night, and he signed Kendall up on the list last time they had dropped in to get coffee.

"I can suck it up, I really will!" Kendall said, a lustful glint in his eyes, causing Carlos' heart to skip a beat and a quiet moan to escape his lips. He was still getting used to the sexual connotations Kendall would slip in periodically, always taking his breath away.

"Everything is about sex with you, isn't it?" Carlos playfully jabbed.

"What do you expect? I am a virgin gay guy. Of course everything is about sex! Now what do you have planned?" Kendall continued to pry, tugging on Carlos' shirt sleeve.

"God, you are like a child! I don't care what James says, you are worse than me! And we're here, so you don't have to wait anymore." Carlos says, turning into the coffee shop, Capresso.

"What's going on? Coffee is your idea of a bucket list item?" Kendall questioned, walking in behind Carlos, confused as hell. That's when he saw a guitarist up on the makeshift stage in the corner of the room.

"Open mic night." Kendall mumbled, then turned to look at Carlos who was smirking at him.

"Yeah, this is the surprise. I signed you up the last time we were in here."

"Oh my god, Carlos! This is literally a dream come true." The blonde said as he swooped down to give Carlos a quick kiss to show his appreciation. Carlos hummed happily.

"I'm glad you like it. What are you going to play?"

Kendall thought for a moment, before a smile graced his face. He knew exactly what he would play.

"It's a surprise." He nodded, wrapping Carlos in a hug. The Latino snuggled into his chest, responding,

"That's a surprise I can deal with."

*LINE BREAK*

As Kendall stood up on stage, he strummed the acoustic guitar he was holding, listening to its soft, melodious tune resonate through the coffee shop. He leaned in closer to the microphone.

"Hi, my name is Kendall Knight, some of you might know me from the NHL. I just want to say a few things before I sing this song. Firstly, I want to dedicate this song to my boyfriend, Carlos. He is one of the strongest, actually correction, he _is _the strongest person I know. I don't say this to gain any sympathy, but me and Carlos both have cancer...He has leukemia, I have a rare type of bone cancer. This is Carlos' second time through this, this being my first time. When I went into the hospital, I was just about as depressed as you can get without just killing myself, but there, amidst all this darkness and disease, is Carlos. Sweet, innocent, playful, sometimes childish Carlos. He cheered me up the moment we met, and he has continued to do so the past month. I am on chemo, so I lost all my hair pretty quickly, which was a pretty awful thing to go through. I am bald under this beanie, and so is Carlos. But Carlos is only on radiation. He didn't need to lose his hair. He shaved it off. For me. So that I wouldn't feel alone. If that isn't enough to make a crush turn into love, I don't know what else would. I love you, Carlos, and this song is for you. Wonderwall by Oasis, ladies and gents."

The whole room was silent as he began to strum, the lyrics flowing out of him and entering everyone's chest, wrapping around their hearts because moments like this is what made life worth living. Everyone in the room had misty eyes and a lump in their throat, but Carlos stood there, his shoulders shaking softly, as hot tears poured down his face.

_"I said maybe, you're gunna be the one that saves me, and after all, you're my wonderwall!"_ Kendall sang out, choking up slightly at the deepness of just that lyric, and how it so directly impacted their lives. Kendall truly believed Carlos would save his life.

By the end of the song, there was not a dry eye in the building, everyone was so deeply moved by Kendall's cover of the classic love song. With one final note, Kendall sighed heavily through his own thick emotions as the crowd of people errupted in applause. Kendall slipped the strap of the guitar off his shoulders before exiting the stage to pull Carlos into a crushing embrace.

With a shaky voice filled with tears, Carlos whispered into Kendall's ear.

"Make love to me. I'm ready to give you my everything."

_**A/N: There you go, my lovelies! I hope you all love this chapter, and I can not wait for you all to read what's to come! Reviews would be soooo appreciated! Love y'all! Xoxo**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Hello everyone! It has been a little while since my last update, so I thought I would write you all a longgggg story! :) A fair warning, their is about two chapters left to this story, maybe three. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed/favorited/followed this story, it truly means the world to me! You all ROCK!**_

_**A thank you to Stephanie, who basically hasn't read a word of this is chapter...Until now. It's unusual for that to happen, she usually reads every single word before it is posted, but through a series of unfortuante events, internet is hard to come by for me these days, so our skype sessions have dramatically decreased, which makes me very sad... :( But it is a surprise for her, and I hope she lovesssssssss it! This is, after all, her story, so I hope I have done this chapter (the one she has demanded since the beginning) justice. **_

_**Onward to a chapter full of SEXY TIMES! Hope you love, and feedback is awesome!**_

_**Love to all!**_

_**I do not own BTR.**_

**RATED M FOR A REASON! DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU CAN'T READ HARDCORE SEX!**

If it wasn't for Carlos' gorgeous chocolate eyes, Kendall wouldn't be caught dead doing this. He looked down his lean body, smoothing his hands over the red satin fabric.  
"It had to be red?"

He whined, looking up at Carlos with pleading eyes. Carlos just smirked, nodding his head, "Yup, babe, it had to be red. Mine is pink, so what are you complaining about?" As Kendall pouted, Carlos adjusted the brunette wig in the mirror, making sure the long brown curls were laying perfectly.

"I can't believe I am wearing a red dress. God, I can't believe I am wearing a wig. I know I have cancer, and some cancer patients wear wigs, but this is a girl's wig. I look like Hannah Montana!" Kendall flopped himself down onto Carlos' bed, heaving out a dramtic sigh.

"There you are wrong. You are so much cuter than Hannah Montana!" Carlos said, looking at Kendall in the reflection of the mirror as he applied his cherry red lip gloss.

"You only say that because Hannah Montana doesn't have a dick, and I do." He mumbled, sitting up and adjusting his push-up bra, groaning about how he didn't know how girls could wear these.

"You know that's right, babe!" Carlos answered sending him a wink, and smacking his glossy lips together. He turned away from the mirror, and headed towards his boyfriend with the makeup bag. Kendall stared warily at it, not thrilled at the idea of having to wear makeup. Carlos pulled out a small package that contained a pair of long, black and very fake eyelashes.

"Oh, hell no! You gotta be fucking kidding me!" Kendall yelled, leaping off the bed and retreating to the far corner of the room, squishing himself into it as far as humanly possible.

"C'mon, Ken, ya big baby! They are JUST eyelashes! I'm not asking you to get a boob job!" Carlos rolled his eyes, as the dress clad boy continued to wedge himself into the corner.

"Do I have to?" The tall boy wimpered, staring at the eyelashes like it was the bubonic plague Carlos was grasping.

"Yes, if we are going to convince people that we are girls, you have to put these on!" Carlos insisted, as he finished walking over to Kendall, grabbing his hand pulling him over to sit on the bed. He unwillingly relented, and let Carlos put them on.

After poking him in the eyes and almost gluing his right eyelid shut, Carlos accomplished the task of applying the fake eyelashes. Kendall rose up to inspect himself in the mirror, letting out a small shriek.

"Ahhh, I look like a GIRL!" Kendall reached up to touch the offensive objects, grimacing at his appearance.

"That's kinda the point, babe!" Carlos came up behind him to wrap his arms around the taller boys waist. "And besides, if you _were_ a girl, I would turn straight for you!" He leaned up to nip at Kendall's ear. He giggle and leaned back into his boyfriend's embrace.

"No, you like dick way too much! But let's hurry up and get this show on the road. Put my makeup on before I change my mind about this." Carlos happily obliged, pulling Kendall back over to the bed, toting the makeup bag along with him.

*LINE BREAK*

They got out of the taxi and could not conceal their giggling. They couldn't help but think they were pulling off the girl look quite well, and if the hair and makeup didn't conclude in people's minds that they were women, the giggles would suffice.

"Oh this is epic!" Carlos stated as they walked to the entrance of the mall, opening the double doors and entering the large building that was bustling with activity. Kendall shoved away the feelings of shyness and embarrassment, knowing he was doing this because Carlos wanted it.

In fact, Kendall was a sucker for anything Carlos wanted. He couldn't say no. Not like he ever wanted to, truth be told. Like a week ago when Carlos had set up the open mic night gig for him, by the end of the performance the lust in Carlos' eyes was palpable, and Kendall whole-heartedly agreed to taking their relationship to the next level. That night they shared the most beautiful, fulfilling, erotic, and love-filled evening of their lives. Them both being inexperienced, they found the experience even more bonding because they were finding their way through it together, feeling things they never had before, and they had felt them together. Though they would have never imagined it possible, Kendall and Carlos fell deeper in love.

"Does my hair look ok?" Carlos asked Kendall timidly, reaching up to softly touch the locks.

"Sweetie, it's never looked better! OMG, what product did you use, you _have _to tell me!" Kendall responded in a very fake, squeaky schoolgirl voice. This had Carlos doubled over in laughter, and people were staring at the boys.

"Los, you are going to blow our cover!" Kendall chastised his cohort. Carlos immediately stifled his laughter, an occasional giggle leaking out.

"So what are we going to do? Shoe shop? Fawn over purses? Like, I might be gay, but I am still a dude. I have no clue what we should be doing." Kendall looked at the surrounding stores.

"Well," Carlos drawled, "There is one store EVERY girl has to go to."

"Oh yeah, what might that be?" Kendall asked, raising one eyebrow in interest.

"Victoria's Secret." Carlos responds, nodding his head slowly, and sporting the cheekiest grin known to man.

"Are you fucking kidding me? First eyelashes and now Victoria's Secret? No, I put my foot down, absolutely not. I will not be caught dead in that overpriced male pet shop." Kendall could not believe what he had gotten himself into. When Carlos had said he wanted to dress up like girls and go to the mall, Kendall had figured he just meant to go in, stay for ten minutes for the giggles, and leave. Apparently, he wanted to go ALL out for this. He knew he couldn't say no, and he knew he would indeed be taking a stroll through a store full of lingerie. This scared the shit out of him. Women, in general, scared him and he didn't get why guys liked those lacy, frilly underwear.

*LINE BREAK*

"Carlos, I really don't think I can do this. It's just too freaky! The models are creeping me out, the underwear is making me nauses, and everything is so...girly. Please, Los, can we just leave?" Kendall pleaded, clutching onto the back of Carlos' dress. The Latino turned around, hugging his boyfriend quickly,

"Baby, I have a plan in all this. Just trust me."

"I'm sorry, but I am having trust issues with you picking up the g-string. Can you blame me?" Kendall said, his eyes wide with fright as Carlos placed a skimpy pink garment into his hand basket.

"I am trying this on! It would be weird for two girls to come in here and not try on stuff. We have to blend. Now c'mon we are going to the dressing rooms." Carlos insisted, physically dragging him to the large enclosed rooms, pulling him in the first available one, closing the door and locking it.

"Carlos, you have gone insane. Seriously, why are we in here? You are making my cancer kill me faster, I am pretty sure." He didn't respond, he just started pulling off his dress, leaving Kendall pressing himself into a corner for the second time today.

"This is a nice dressing room, don't you think? Really private, no way for people to see in, or hear anything. Quality stuff. Hmm?" Carlos questioned, pulling his underwear down, completely exposing himself. Kendall gulped, his eyes raking up and down Carlos' lean frame, drinking in the sight. Carlos caught him staring in the mirror, shooting him a smile and wink. He picked up the g-string, pulling it up his legs,

"What are you getting at?" Kendall croaked out, still not quite used to seeing Carlos naked. The thing was, Carlos had absolutely no self-consciousness issues, he would flaunt himself around Kendall, saying it was, "un-natural to wear clothes, we were born naked, why not stay that way?"

"I am getting at my bucket list." Carlos responded, nodding matter-of-factly.

"What the hell? Trying on ladies underwear is not on your bucket list! I know that for sure!" Kendall said, watching Carlos try to adjust the pink material to cover his package. Not working out so well. Kendall couldn't deny that he was turned on by the sight. He could feel his own underwear start to get tight and constrictive.

"Trying on underwear, no. Having you fuck me senseless in a dressing room is." Carlos answered, sauntering over to Kendall swaying his hips, watching Kendall swallow hard. He reached up, pulling the wig off Kendall's head, as he leaning up pressing their lips together quickly, before pulling back to reach down pulling his dress off, along with the pushup bra stuffed with socks.

"Carlos, we can't do this! I thought you were kidding with that bucket list idea! Seriously, we are in a public place." Kendall whispered, but didn't push him away as Carlos kissed his chest right next to his central line. He left Kendall's boxers on, noticing the tent forming from his ministrations. He nipped up his neck until he reached Kendall's ear, whispering hoarsly into it,

"Babe, all I want right now is for you to bend me over that bench and fuck me so hard you have to carry me out of here. And as you pound into my ass, I wanna watch us in the mirror. I wanna watch the sweat the rolls down your body, to watch the pleasure on your face. I wanna watch you cum. Please, don't deny me these things." Kendall just stared at Carlos, completely taken back by what he just said. But only for a second, because once everything sank in, Kendall lunged forward attacking Carlos, letting out a feral growl before claiming his mouth as his. Their hands were everywhere, groping and touching as much skin they could reach, completely lost in eachother, swallowing eachother's moans and whimpers.

Carlos dropped to his knees, palming the large buldge in Kendall's boxers that had magically stayed on his body. He leaned in, breathing in the heady scent that was purely Kendall, pressing a kiss to the tip through the flimsy material. Kendall moaned loudly, bucking his hips, running his hands over Carlos' smooth scalp. The Latino reached up, pulling down Kendall' s boxers, the cock that was confined springing out and growing to full size, standing out proudly from Kendall's body. Carlos grasped it, pressing his tongue flush to the swollen head, making Kendall nearly go crazy with lust. He wrapped his lips around the head, fisting what he didn't have in his mouth. His eyes traveled up to stare at Kendall as he took more in his mouth, bobbing his head around the hot flesh. Their eyes met, and Kendall almost came just looking at his boyfriend.

"God Carlos, so fucking _hot_!" Carlos released Kendall with a pop, catching his breath. Kendall reached down and hauled him up by his arms, pulling their mouths together in a searing kiss.

"Need you inside me! Hurry!" Carlos panted, grabbing Kendall's hand to pull three of his long fingers into his mouth, moving his wet tongue around the digits. Kendall moaned, reaching down, pulling the g-string off his boyfriend, then started slowly jacking Carlos off. Carlos' eyes rolled back, his jaw going slack from the insane pleasure.

"Please...Please-e-e." Was all he could say. Kendall complied, reaching around his slim body to insert one of his slick fingers into Carlos' tight hole, a loud moan emitted from the small boy's mouth.

"So tight." Kendall breathed into his ear. Carlos dropped his forehead against Kendall's shoulder.

"More Ken! Fuck, please hurry! Need you so bad." Carlos pleaded against Kendall's overheated skin. The taller male slipped two more fingers into his boyfriend, Carlos biting down onto Kendall's shoulder at the pain. With only having sex a handfull of times, Carlos still wasn't used to the feeling of first being entered, and the pain was still very apparent. But he knew that if that one spot was hit, in combination with Kendall's hand around his dick, the pain he was feeling would be overrode by the pleasure. Kendall curled his fingers just right, and stars flashed in Carlos' eyes, his knees buckleing, a cry of ecstasy ripping from his throat.

"Inside me NOW!" Carlos shouted, whirling around to lean over the bench, folding his arms on the plush cushion, resting his forehead on top of them, affectively sticking his ass high in the air, begging for Kendall to enter him. He stood back, just looking at the position of his boyfriend, his breath catching in his throat. He didn't know how he got so lucky.

"Kendall, please! Need you so bad!" Carlos whined again, his eyes desperate with lust. Kendall came over, spitting in his hand, spreading it over his throbbing cock. He placed one hand on Carlos' hip, using the other to help guide him inside of Carlos. The smaller boy whimpered beneath him, trying to get accostomed to the intrusion. It wasn't as if Kendall lacked in size.

"You feel so good, baby! Love you so much!" Kendall said soothingly, running his hands all over Carlos' back trying to make the pain go away. He reached down, gripping Carlos' erection, helping him feel more pleasure.

"Move." Carlos said curtly, Kendall then pulling his hips back till only the tip of his penis remained in him, then snapped back in, making Carlos cry out, only this time with pleasure laced amidst the pain. Kendall repeated the motion, continuing to go slow as to try and make this as comfortable as it possibly could be for his boyfriend. But Carlos had different plans...he started bucking back against Kendall.

"God damnit, faster! Fuck me like a real man!" He complained. Kendall laughed breathlessly, before planting his feet firmer, and started driving mericlessly into Carlos. He bent over his body, gripping a hand to the back of the Latino's neck snapping his hips at a lightening fast pace. He looked up to see Carlos staring at them in the mirror, seeming to be enthralled by what he saw.

"God, I love that huge cock in my ass! Own me, Kendall!" Carlos growled. Kendall leaned down and started placing biting kisses all over him, marking him as his, making Carlos pant in pleasure/pain.

The small room was filled with the sound of panting, skin slapping skin, moans of pleasure, and somewhere in the back of Kendall's mind, he wondered if the outside world could hear what was going on, but he was far too preoccupied by the male beneath him. He could feel his orgasm boiling and churning deep in his abdomin, and he knew it wouldn't be long. He grasped hold of Carlos' length, pumping it furiously and positioned himself so that he was brushing Carlos' prostate with every thrust. He writhed in pleasure as Kendall moved in and around him, knowing he was going to explode.

"Kendall...Baby, I'm gunna cum!" Carlos barely got out before his load released, thick, white ropes shooting out to paint the mirror, and covering Kendall's fist.

"FUCK! Oh my god, oh god, Kendall, baby. Oh my god." Carlos panted, desperately trying to catch his breath. Tremors of pleasure wracked his body, and if not for Kendall's support, he would have buckled under his own weight. Kendall resumed pounding into the boy, this time completely letting loose, thrusting with the furosity of a wild animal. He started cursing under his breath, his orgasm so close he could practically taste it. With a few final thrusts, he pulled out Carlos, pumping his cock, and cumming with a shout on Carlos' back. He fell forward, but caught himself before he could land on top of his exhausted lover.

"Holy shit, baby." Kendall breathed out, collapsing on the bench beside Carlos. The small boy crawled into his lap, cuddling into Kendall's chest.

"My feelings exactly." Carlos mumbled into Kendall. Wanting to kiss him, Kendall gently tugged on Carlos' neck to get him to lean back. Once he did their lips met in a sweet, post-coital kiss, their tongues lazily moving together, milking out the moments of pure euphoria.

"We better get out of here." Carlos mumbled against Kendall's lips. He chuckled and nodded his head slowly, Carlos crawling off his lap to put his clothes back on. He stood up, and got a strange look on his face.

"Carlos...Are you ok?" Kendall asked, getting up to reach his hand out to Carlos, just as the boy's brown eyes rolled back in his head, knees giving out, and finally crumpling to the ground.

"Shit! Carlos!" Kendall yelped, scooping up the boy and holding him close to his chest. He laid there, unconcious, but breathing, so Kendall knew he had only fainted. It didn't take long before Carlos' eyes fluttered open once again.

"Was the sex _that _good?" Kendall asked with a smirk. Carlos laughed softly.

"I just got really weak, sorry. Don't know why."

"Well, then let's get back to the hospital. I want Logan to check you out, and I have chemo tomorrow, so we both need to rest. I think we fooled everyone!"

Carlos laughed again, the glint of happiness returning to his eyes.

"Thank you for playing along with my pervertedness!" He said, kissing Kendall gently.

"Oh, believe me, if the rest of your bucket list adventures end up in sexy times like that, I am game for dressing up like a gopher, I don't care."

"You know they will! Now that we started, we won't be able to stop!"

_**A/N: Why did Carlos faint? Does anyone have any idea?**_

_**As I said above, there is only two, maybe three chapters left to this story. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! I had a blast! Review please! :) **_


	7. Chapter 7

Kendall practically vibrated with excitement as he stared down at the plane tickets in his hand. They had accomplished all but one thing on their bucket list. Carlos wanted to camp on the beaches of Maui, Hawaii. To, as he said, make love with Kendall to the sounds of the waves. Kendall had not one complaint with that plan; he took as many opportunities as he could find to have sex with the Latino bombshell, to cherish him, and hold him. To whisper how much he loved him in his ear, watching goosebumps appear on his bare skin, feeling him tremble, listening to his breathing quicken. Kendall was so madly in love with the boy he couldn't see straight. If the cancer was to beat him, Kendall would die a happy man. For the first time in his life, Kendall was experiencing true happiness, and he hadn't even been searching for it. He thought he had had it all his life. He was so wrong.

He all but skipped down the hallway towards Carlos' room, barely containg the excitement of telling his boyfriend that they were going to Maui, like Carlos had dreamed about for so long. When he reached the small space, he poked his head in, expecting to see Carlos either sleeping, it was only 7AM after all, or playing on his iPad. When he saw he was doing neither, not even in his bed, Kendall called out softly,

"Carlos, babe, where are you?" He was answered with the sound of retching from inside Carlos' bathroom. Kendall crossed the room quickly, opening the door to see his boyfriend hugging the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach into it. The blonde stooped down and ran his hands lovingly over the planes of Carlos' back, trying to comfort and calm him down. He finally started to level out after about of three minutes of continuous vomiting.

"Kendall, I am so sorry." Carlos said weakly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Kendall's heart broke for him, as he wrapped his long arms around the young man's small frame, pulling him back to lean against his warm chest.

"Baby, there is nothing for you to apologize for. How many times have you done the same for me through chemo? Countless times." He cooed, rocking him back and forth slightly. They sat there silently for who knows how long, Kendall thinking Carlos had fallen asleep.

"Do you know how much I love you?" Carlos whispered so softly, Kendall had to strain to hear what he said. The blonde chuckled in his ear.

"You have told me a few times. Why?"

"I just want you to know that you are the first and only man I will ever love." Carlos answered, looking up at Kendall with those big brown eyes, glassy with tears.

"Right back at you, love. I feel the same way." Kendall smiled, thumbing away the tears that had spilled out onto Carlos' cheek.

"You don't understand. It is impossible me to love anyone besides you, even if I wanted to." Carlos' bottom lip began to tremble.

"I know, Los, and like I said, I feel the same." Kendall cupped the Latino's face, pressing a light kiss to his full lips.

"Kendall you aren't GETTING WHAT I AM SAYING! I will never, ever love again!" Carlos had never raised his voice before, so Kendall really sat up in attention.

"Baby, what do you mean? Explain it to me."

"I...I...I stopped responding, Kendall."

"Responding to what, Carlos? You are really making no sense at all now." Kendall muttered, confused as hell.

"Baby, I don't know how to tell you this, but...I stopped responding to treatment. The radiation didn't work. Kendall...I'm dying. I'm going to die soon." Carlos' voice quivered violently.

Silence.

Pure, unadultered silence.

Kendall sat there for what seemed like hours, but it had to have only been twenty seconds. He didn't move, he didn't breathe, he didn't even blink.

His body had stopped responding to the radiation.

They had no other avenue to cure him.

Carlos was dying.

That thought jarred Kendall out of his motionless reverie, and he flew away from Carlos like he had been electrocuted, digging the heels of his shoes into the grooves of the tile, pushing himself away until he was stopped by slamming into the wall to the rear of him.

"No." He curtly shook his head, his mouth set in a hard line, not believing what was happening.

"Kendall, baby, please!" Carlos pleaded, reaching out for his boyfriend. Kendall angled himself further away, his eyes flaming with an unquenchable fury.

"No. No, this isn't happening! You said you would be fine. You promised me, Carlos! YOU FUCKING PROMISED YOU WOULD BE HERE FOR ME!" Kendall screamed, tears welling up, threatening to spill over.

"Baby, I'm not the one giving up! My body is! Believe me, I didn't see this coming either." Carlos scooted closer to him, this time Kendall didn't fight it, but he didn't pull him into his arms either.

"You need to talk to Logan. He can fix this! Make him fix this, god damnit!" Kendall cried out, the tears that had collected falling like rain down his cheeks.

"He can't, we tried. Believe me, we have tried everything!" Carlos answered, his chest heaving in and out. That just sat there for a long time, staring at eachother, neither saying a word.

"How long have you know?" Kendall asked monotoned. Carlos sighed before he began.

"About two months ago, I noticed that I had been bruising a lot more than usual. I thought nothing of it, but that day I passed out in the dressing room, Logan didn't give me the all clear like I told you. He took a blood sample and seemingly over night, my white blood cell count had more than tripled. That's when we knew that my body wasn't letting the radiation do its job anymore. Logan told me later that week that I wasn't going to make it..." Carlos finished. Kendall pulled his knees to his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me." He demanded.

Carlos said nothing.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME!" Kendall screamed.

"Because I wanted to make the most of the time we had left, Kendall! Is that such a crime? That I wanted to live out the rest of my days without you babying me and not doing the stuff on our list because I was dying? I waited as long as I possibly could, without you waking up one morning and James and Logan telling you I died. I don't have much time left, not much at all, and I wanted to make the most of it. I wanted to spend every moment of every last breath loving you."

That's when the dam broke loose. Kendall pulled Carlos into his lap, and they just sat there and cried...

*Line break*

Logan had said about a month. That that was all Carlos had left. He said that he would decline very quickly, like one moment he would be fine and the next he would be knocking at death's door. He was so right. Kendall and Carlos shared three weeks of nonstop loving eachother, experiencing it more than anyone would in their whole lifetime. The hospital bent the rules and let them share a private room so they could be together as much as they wanted. Everything had been going beautifully, and Kendall often wondered if it was just a bad dream. Carlos was fine. He was happy, cheerful and his all around hyper self, making everyone second guess Logan.

But Kendall knew. Carlos knew. They knew deep inside that very soon, life was going to change.

Three and a half weeks after Carlos confessed to Kendall that he was dying, Kendall was jarred awake by the sounds of ragged breathing. He turned on the light and gasped at what he say. Carlos was so pale, white as a sheet with a gray tint. His eyes were bloodshot, his lips dry and chapped as he struggled to breathe.

"Help me, Kendall." He strangled out. Kendall hugged the boy close to him as he rang the nurse's help button. James walked in about thirty seconds later.

"Logan, you need to get up here now!" James spoke into his vocera.

Soon, Carlos was hooked up to all types of machines and IV's, all of which were only to moniter his vitals and administer meds to make him comfortable in his last few hours. There was nothing they could do to save him.

"He was fine, I swear, he was fine when we went to bed last night. I woke up to the sound of him breathing like that." Kendall mumbled, having not let go of Carlos' left hand the whole time. James leaned over and hugged Kendall for a long time, just to let him know that he had friends who were going to help him through this.

For three hours, Carlos drifted in and out of consciousness, only to mumble a few words before slipping under again. His heartrate steadily began to deteriorate until it was just barely beating. His eyes fluttered open and he stared right at Kendall.

"I guess this is goodbye." Carlos choked out, his breathing not allowing him to say much more than that. Kendall's eyes filled with tears as he ran his thumb back and forth across Carlos' palm. Kendall nodded finally.

"Do me a favor and save a place for me in heaven. Right beside you."

Carlos smiled as big as he could, nodding his head.

_Beep...Beep..._

"I...I...I love y-you." He whispered.

_Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eep._

James reached over and turned off the heart moniter.

He looked so peaceful.

That's all that Kendall could describe it as in his numb state.

He was gone.

His Carlos was gone.

Their gaze had never wavered. Even though his life had left him, Carlos' eyes stared into Kendall's, a soft smile still playing on his lips. Kendall let out a sob as he reached up, pressing his fingers to the top of Carlos' eyes, closing his eyelids.

And everything was silent...

_**A/N: I honestly can not express how hard I cried when I wrote this. I can not put into words what writing this did to me inside. I cry every time I read it. As you can see by my pen name, I love Carlos, so writing his death just about killed me. There will be one to two chapters after this, so please read on. I am so sorry. I really am. :(**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Last chapter...**_

_**I do not own BTR**_

His eyes were closed, feeling the warm spray of the salty ocean air on his face, his skin warmed by the rays of sunshine that seemed constant here in Hawaii. It had been a year exactly since Kendall was diagnosed with cancer, and has been in remission for the last six months. He had beat it, he had put up such a hard fight for Carlos, because he promised him that he would kick cancer's ass. He kept his word. He was cancer-free. His hair had grown back, and he hadn't realized just how much he had missed his blonde locks.

Thinking back over the past year, he couldn't help but choke up at the emotions he had felt over the course of twelve months. Anger, joy, sorrow, laughter and contentment. He had had his good times, he had had his sad times. Carlos had been part of each. To this day Carlos still meant the world to him. As he felt a pair of arms wrap around his midsection, Kendall thought back to that horrible night...

_Flashback:_

_Kendall awoke, sweating profusely and crying softly. The dream had been so vivid. He had dreamed that his Carlos had died. Kendall rolled over, reaching out to pull his boyfriend close after that horrific nightmare, but all he grabbed was air and bunch of blanket. He desperately felt around for the warm body he craved to hold, but there was nothing. He sat up and flicked on the light, seeing that his bed was empty; that his room was empty. He began to wail as he realized that it hadn't been a dream or a nightmare. Carlos really was gone. _

_"CARLOS!" Kendall screamed out, curling up into the fetal position, his body wracked with sobs. He began to repeatedly yell the word, "No!" at the top of his lungs. He vaguely heard the sound of running feet coming down the hall, Logan and James appearing in his doorway._

_"Kendall! You need to calm down!" James ordered as he rushed to the bedside, and pulled Kendall over to him. The bathroom door suddenly flew open._

_"What the hell is going on? Kendall, baby, what's wrong!?" Carlos asked, replacing James as the one the hysterical boy was using to cry into. Those bottle green eyes stared up in shock at Carlos, large tears still pouring out. _

_"...Carlos?" He asked with a weak voice. He really didn't trust himself that this was real._

_"It's me baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Carlos asked taking Kendall's face in between his hands._

_"You died! It felt so real! You died in my arms, I felt the life go from you!" He choked out, still not believing that Carlos was really there. _

_"It was just a bad dream! I am here, I really am!" Carlos cooed, pulling Kendall deeper into his embrace, pressing soft kisses to his face and anywhere he could reach._

_"I woke up and you weren't here!"_

_"I was in the bathroom! I am so sorry I wasn't in bed!"_

_Once it finally sunk in that Carlos really was there, Kendall pulled his face down to smash their lips together in a heated and desperate kiss._

_"I really thought I lost you." Kendall mumbled into Carlos' lips. _

_"Right here, not going anywhere."_

_"Well, I know why they say what they say about Latino men being big. I bet you are fantastic in bed." James interjected into the emotional situation. Everone looked at Carlos, seeing that his basketball shorts were around his ankles. Carlos shrugged, pulling them up._

_"Kendall scared me with all his screaming, I didn't have time to pull them up from going to the bathroom." Kendall arose from the bed, walking over to Logan and James, giving them each a hug._

_"That is for being awesome friends, and helping calm me down." He said, before reaching up and smacking James on the back of his head._

_"And that was for commenting on my boyfriend's dick."_

_...End of flashback..._

Kendall leaned back further into Carlos' embrace, enjoying the closeness. The night he had the nightmare, Kendall proposed to Carlos, saying life was short and they knew that they were meant for each other. Carlos tearfully agreed and that night they drifted off into a peaceful sleep engulfed in eachother. It wasn't a week later that Logan gave them the good news that both of them were in remission, and were cancer-free. Nothing could describe the happiness that both of them felt, knowing that had reached the other side. Carlos even said that he felt it was completely gone, and somehow knew that it was gone for good. Carlos packed up his belongings and moved into Kendall's apartment.

Happiness was too shallow of a word to describe what they felt these past months. And the fact that they were standing on the beaches of Maui, their final bucket list item, only made it all the more amazing.

"Can you believe we made it through the whole list, baby?" Kendall asked, turning around so that they could face eachother, their hips pressed firmly together.

"I know, it's kind of sad. We have done so much, and now we have come to the dreaded question of 'what now?'...I don't want it to end." Carlos stated, looking up at Kendall with sad eyes.

"There is plenty of stuff we can do. For instance, I am thinking you and me, a bottle of champagne, some chocolate covered strawberries, and a king sized bed. I believe the next thing I should say is 'hint hint'." Kendall recanted, leaning down the rub their noses together before softly brushing their lips together.

"It's all about sex with you, isn't it?" Carlos joked, grinding up against Kendall.

"Says the only man on earth more horny and kinky than James Diamond." Carlos leaned back, scrunching his face up and shaking his head.

"No, not possible! Logan has an almost constant limp, and that supply closet on the west side of the hosiptal has been used for way more than storing brooms and mops." Kendall threw is head back, emitting a heart-felt laugh, a sound that Carlos could listen to for forever.

"Ok, you might be right, but you come in a close second."

"And for some reason I don't recall ever hearing complaints from your mouth or you genital area. Hmmm? Refresh my memory." Kendall laughed again, leaning down to engulf Carlos in a hug.

"I love you." He whispered softly in Carlos' ear, the roar of the waves almost drowning it out, but he heard.

"I love you too. And you know what I think we should do?" Carlos answered.

"Go back to bed and have sex?" Kendall asked hopefully.

"In a little bit! God, so horny! No, we should make another bucket list."

"And what would we ever put on it? We did a lot of shit."

"Well, I have one idea...Have you ever wondered what James and Logan would be like in bed?" Carlos leaned back to look at Kendall almost shyly.

"Ummmm, I can't say that I ever gave it much thought. Why, are you planning on sleeping with them?" Kendall inquired, his lips tugging up into a smirk.

"No, I was thinking more of a...group activity." Carlos bit his lip, looking so sheepish you couldn't help but your heart melt by how adorable he looked.

"What exactly are you suggesting?"

"Foursome?"

_**THE END!**_

_**A/N: Wow, I really can't believe this is done and over with. I absolutely have an insane attachment to this story, and I can't help but tear up as I write this note. But I want to know, did any of you expect this ending? You can go give a over-the-internet hug to my best friend, Stephanie, (waitingFORthePERFECTsong9092) because she did not allow me to actually let him die. The last chapter was originally going to be James, Logan, and Kendall on a beach in Maui spreading Carlos' ashes. But, she knew how that would kill me, her, and all of you, if I wrote that, so she nixed it. **_

_**Speaking of her, I really hope you loved this story, Steph, and I hope I wrote everything you wanted to see just how you envisioned it. This story is yours, but I can't explain what a joy it was to write it. I love those two goofs, you know that! Thank you for inspiring me to write, even when I don't want to, for making me laugh when all I want to do is cry, for being the only one who has ever been able to make me fountain soda out of my nose just because of a text, but thank you most of all for putting up with all my shit. I am honored to call you my best friend, and I can't say enough, "I love ya, girl!" xoxo**_

_**I want to thank everyone again for your support in reading this and to all who reviewed/favorited/followed this. It breaks my heart to end this, but I have several stories I am working on at the moment, so it was time to move on. I love you all! XoXoXoooo**_


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